Find the Good

My great-grandma was someone I looked up to and deeply admired. She had this warmth and positivity about her that was contagious to be around. She was always the light in our family, and always knew how to make those around her feel loved and seen. She was the type of grandma to play your favorite movie while she made you grilled cheese and tomato soup, simply because she knew they were your favorite.

In 2022, after a visit to the hospital for abdominal pain, what we thought would be kidney stones, turned out to be stage 4 ovarian cancer. One diagnosis shook our entire family. It’s hard seeing someone you love, someone who has been nothing but optimistic your entire life, face such a terrifying diagnosis and still try to put on a smile every single day. We soaked up every moment we had with her, treating each visit with the intentionality that it could possibly be our last.

My favorite memory with her was coming home from Christmas break after a hard first semester of freshman year. I hadn’t seen her in a few months. She had lost all of her hair and was noticeably thinner, but still had that same precious smile and warmth. She embraced me with open arms and couldn’t wait to hear about how college had been going. We cuddled on the couch and watched her favorite Christmas movie; like nothing in the world had changed, even though everything had.

In March of 2024, I was walking across campus between classes when I saw a message from my mom asking me to call her when I had a chance. Not thinking much of it, I called during my five-minute commute. She picked up, and there was silence. I asked if she was okay, and through voice cracks, I heard her mumble that our sweet grandma had passed away earlier that day. My world shattered.

I stopped dead in my tracks, found the nearest curb, and just sat there trying to process what my mom had said. I had been so busy with college, three hours away, that as selfish as it sounds, a part of me had forgotten just how precious her life was. I always assumed she would be there, waiting to embrace me on her porch the second I returned home.

The next few weeks were filled with pain and remembrance of the impact she left on the world. Words cannot describe how incredible of a woman she truly was. I spent so much time reflecting, but being away at school meant that life kept moving, even when I felt like mine had stopped. Still, I could feel her presence linger over me from time to time. Soft, subtle reminders that she was still with me.

Coming home for the summer in May of 2024 was the moment everything finally sank in. Being back in the place she had always filled with so much warmth made the loss feel painfully real. Summer went on, life got busy, and slowly things started to feel normal again, until one day, my mom came into my room exclaiming that she had just had the craziest, and most vivid dream.

In the dream, my great-grandma, my mom, and I were all sitting together talking. My mom was feeling overwhelmed with work, and I was breaking down about how hard school had been. My grandma touched both of us and said that we just needed to “find the good.” At the end of the dream, the three of us were getting matching tattoos on our forearms of that exact quote.

I took a second to process… and without hesitation, I told my mom we needed to do it. We needed to get the tattoo. So she grabbed her phone and booked the appointment for later that week.

When the day came, I was anxious about getting my first tattoo, but I knew deep down this was exactly what needed to be done. Right before the artist started, my mom took a deep breath, tears welling in her eyes, and asked if I was sure because this would be on my arm forever, even on my wedding day. I smiled and reassured her that I would want nothing more than that. Having it there would mean that Grandma would be with me on the most important day of my life.

Today, I have Find the Good permanently written on my arm as a constant reminder that no matter the circumstances, there is always goodness to be found if you’re willing to look for it. One of my favorite things is when someone asks me what it says, and I get to tell them about my great-grandma. Her beautiful life, her unwavering optimism, and the way she impacted everyone around her.

Her legacy isn’t just a memory. It’s a mindset. A choice. A way of living.

So next time life isn’t going the way you hoped, or everything feels like it’s falling apart, remember her words: Find the Good. Sometimes it’s small, sometimes it’s quiet, but it’s always there… waiting to be seen.